The question that I constantly get asked, which irritates me most, is “How is a beautiful woman like you single?” My literal response varies, however the content doesn’t and that’s simply “because I choose to be.”
I had a friend reach out to me that’s gone through a recent divorce, asked how I can be so strong about being single and whether I get lonely. Of course, I get lonely. You need to love yourself fiercely before anyone else can love you the way you deserve to be loved. During our conversation, I suggested to him that he date himself and do the things he loves. When it “clicked” with him and he embraced taking the necessary time for his soul. He felt liberated!
Although I have never turned down the opportunity to date while being single, each of these dates have taught me what I do and don’t want in a relationship. And I learn how to handle certain situations with the next person I engage with. There have been times when I rushed into another relationship quickly after a break-up. You fall fast and start thinking things like: “maybe this is the one” or “I really like this person.” But each time, the relationships ended the same way. And I was left picking up the pieces of my heart because I never dealt with the previous break-up.
How many people do you know that jump right into a new relationship, without taking time for themselves since the last one ended? I personally know so many. And the relationships that come from these situations rarely last. Many people are simply looking to fill a physical and societal void after a break up. They may fear being alone. They may have lost trust. Whatever the reason, without taking a break to figure things out only hinders your growth process.
I’ve had friends tell me before that they only had someone in their life at certain times to not be alone, which tells me they aren’t fully comfortable with themselves. As a single woman, I’m telling you that self-love and confidence within silence is so attractive. If you can be content in your own presence, without needing to have a warm body beside you just to avoid being alone then you are on the right path.
I have been single for about two years. There have been opportunities that have come my way over the last few years, and I know for a fact that had I been in a relationship, I probably would not have taken them. I wouldn’t be where I am today. I am here to let you know, its ok to be single. It is all part of the growing process; to help us form into a better version of ourselves. I believe that everything happens for a reason.
Take this time to truly discover you and the explore the world. Don’t rush into the next relationship the first chance you get. Trust me, it doesn’t work. Take the time to feed your soul and learn about yourself: what your passionate about, spending time with friends and family, picking up a new hobby, or getting back into your fitness routine. Taking time for yourself is beneficial for both you and your potential partner. Those feelings eventually resurface.
Some people may only need a couple months to recharge, while others need years. The healing process varies person to person. Who doesn’t want someone to love them? There needs to be time in between [relationships] to truly have the potential in meeting Mr./Mrs. Right.
So where are you in your relationship status right now? What avenue will you take next?
The question that I constantly get asked, which irritates me most, is “How is a beautiful woman like you single?” My literal response varies, however the content doesn’t and that’s simply “because I choose to be.” I had a friend