At Love The Network we believe that ultimately, it is you folks who really define what to look for in a date, how to go about dating, and how to maintain a healthy relationship. So, we reached out to you, our supporters to see what you had to say about dating.
If you haven’t made it past the first date;
We compiled a list of things we found people were commonly saying, but we’ve included some unique ones too 🙂 Here are some things some of you suggested to do, or avoid doing on the first date:
- Be honest and upfront, specifically about your expectations in a relationship.
- Be yourself.
- Stay off yer phones! Seriously, I mean if you spend alot of time on it, while you’re on a date, it’ll give the impression you don’t care much about them.
- Stay away from religion and politics on the first few dates if you can. I mean I understand religion is really important to some, so if you need to express it do it, but limited. (People are so much more human then just political stances)
Some other things people suggested were to share some funny stories. And well we’re talking about funny actually (at least I think, lol), let me give you an example of what “being yourself” could be. For me, I like quoting songs or movies and acting out the scenes in reference to, about anything someone says to me when I’m trying to lighten the mood, or just to have fun. Now, they don’t have to know the movies or songs, or like them, but some how they either dig it, or they don’t. It’s really that simple. No need to be sour if it didn’t work out.
So now you are “several” dates in…
A lot of both ladies and the fellas all said, honesty and openness was the most important thing to them, if you have expectations of someone you’re dating, let that person know. Don’t expect them to think they have the same, because your last partner did. The comment below from a guy, struck me though, and it was about being honest, even when it sucks.
So I asked him what he meant, after much back and forth we came up with this to best explain it:
“Us guys really hate women being mad at us we are dating, and being distance from us. We are very quick to agree or resolve the issue, just to move on. We’ve come to realize, this can boil up bigger later on and it is actually best for everyone to be upset about whatever it may be. It allows everyone a few hrs, few days or whatever is necessary to evaluate how they feel about it and actually think about things. It gives each you a chance to step back and evaluate how much you truly believe what you did, that the led you there, and how strongly you believe it before being willing to resolve it. “
Another one that seemed to be popular was really communicating to the guys what you want, be specific! The subtle hints don’t always work, yes we know you have changed your attitude, but we don’t know why unless you tell us :-
I also really liked his comment at the end “A good man is always seeking how to make his woman happy, so don’t make it harder then it has to be.”
From the ladies:
This is a real good screenshot capture I have here that pretty much sums it all up:
Things that are important in a relationship to most women:
- Making her feel important
- Make her laugh (Have fun together!)
I’d like to end this by focusing on the last two sentences by summing up probably the most important things when it comes to maintaining a healthy adult relationship, which are pulled from the comment above:
– Compromise, and the ability to admit when you are wrong or have made a mistake and the ability to be genuinely sorry for it is huge for both men and women in relationships.
– It takes two adults to make a good relationship.
Why is it that every time you start to date some one for the first time, it seems to go great for the first month or two and then it turns out like all the rest? In short, it’s because